I heard the one woman say, " Well, one thing you can say about her is that she has good taste," BUT, and then she said something really mean about whomever it was she was talking about. I thought, wouldn't it have been wonderful if she just would have stopped talking after her first sentence. She had to add the nasty remark, it was as if she couldn't help herself.

Once again I reminded myself to "keep my mouth shut" when I'm tempted to run someone else down. There are times when the greatest gift you can give another person is an UNSPOKEN word. To keep our negative opinions to ourselves. To have enough "self control" to not have to speak everything that comes into our minds. You CAN'' KEEP A BIRD FROM FLYING OVER YOUR HEAD BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO LET IT BUILD A NEST IN YOUR HAIR. And you can't keep a negative thought from going through your mind but you don't have to let it come out of your mouth.

I don't know WHO the woman was talking about.
It may have been me, it may have been you. I don't know.

There is an old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
That old saying is FALSE!
Words CAN and DO hurt people.

Words have sent some to their death. I so often think of beautiful little Karen Carpenter. She, in my opinion, had one of the great voices of all time. One day she happened to read an article written about her. The person who wrote the article called her plain and chubby. She dies of anorexia. A result of that cruel unthinking comment.

I know what it's like to be the brunt of jokes, catty remarks and just plain mean words. I know how terribly it hurts and how a few negative words can immediately lower the self esteem, can make you feel less than. I know what it feels like not to want to even come out of the house, not because you fear people, but you fear their unkind words, their MOUTH!

Every one of us needs to start putting ourselves in other people's shoes. Try to think of yourself as the brunt of what you hear yourself saying.

• Would your own words said to yourself hurt you?
• Would they destroy your confidence?
• Would they discourage you so badly that you might even do something that would result in taking your own life?

I think of our precious young people. All they ever hear their parents is the fact that they aren't any good, that they will never amount to anything. All they hear is how awful they look and how sloppy they are. Then we wonder WHY suicide is the number killer of young people today. They just "give up". They feel like they can never measure up to what people expect of them so they figure what's the use? What if we were busy speaking positive words into those same lives? Words of love and encouragement? What a change it would make in our society.

My daughter, Tammy Sue, son, Jamie Charles, and I have heard so many terrible things about our family in the past few years that we have grown to expect it and try to shield our hearts from the terrible hurt. When people come up to us and say something kind and encouraging, Tammy Sue actually starts to cry. And she talks about their kindness for the rest of the day.

How little it takes to make someone happy. How little it takes to hurt someone for the rest of their lives. And it all lies in the power of the tongue! Your tongue! My tongue!

A bad habit is easier to form than it is to break. But that doesn't mean it can not be broken. And talking about people is a bad habit. After awhile it doesn't even seem wicked any more. It just becomes a part of our lives. The next time you hear yourself begin to say something negative about someone STOP! PLEASE STOP! Before you know it you will not even want to be around people who run other people down. I have wonderful friends and when they get with people and my name is mentioned they automatically say, "Tammy is my friend. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!"

"Lunch with Tammy Faye"
How the Whole Idea Started
by Sue Spataro
I had lunch with Tammy a few of weeks ago. Over chicken cashew and iced tea we got to talking about life and the cards that life can deal you. Tammy felt strongly that when life hands you a bunch of lemons you should make lemonade. Find out more about Tammy, her life and her new role as a regular columnist for our website her on Pinksunrise.com

The Eyes of Tammy Faye (2000)

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Leigh Anne Jasheway
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Leigh Anne Jasheway's book I'm Not Getting Older; I'm Getting Better at Denial is a hilarious look at aging. Leigh Anne, a humor writer with 8 published books,a humorous speaker,  and a stand up comic is from Eugene, Oregon.  Her wit and writing comes from her unique position as a woman facing mid-life.   Leigh Anne uses her sense of humor to help us get over the bumps of the "middle years" and encourages us to look at life with laughs, not tears.

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